


A Way To Hate

by stillskies



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 20:06:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillskies/pseuds/stillskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard to hate Taiga.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Way To Hate

It is hard to hate Taiga, though he tries. It's easier, when they're younger and childish resentment bubbles up without warning and bursts just as quickly. He can roll his eyes and complain and shove the ball roughly into someone's hands before storming off of the court, and everyone will shrug and know that he'll be back the next day, nudging Taiga in the ribs and laughing.

He buys their rings, and, later, the chains when everything is still good and his heart has yet to betray him. _Brothers_ is an odd word for what they are (what Tatsuya hopes they'll be, but it is not something that he can put into words. For now, it's just a vague feeling, but it is filled with such potential). The chain is long and the ring rests close to his heart, a constant reminder of a not-quite promise.

They get older and it suddenly becomes harder because he begins to _understand_. No longer can he blame Taiga for his innate talent or his easy-going nature: it is as much of a part of him as Tatsuya is. (He knows this, knows that he is a part of Taiga and Taiga is a part of him, although, privately, he knows that Taiga is the ugliest part of him, the core of resentment and frustration because he can never be, _will_ never be what Taiga will be. 

And perhaps Taiga is also his fear personified, because he cannot shake the feeling that Taiga will leave him, decide that he's not worth it and maybe never has been.

The ring that rests against his chest feels heavy, but he cannot bring himself to remove it.)

He tries pushing him away, becoming more and more remote, allowing his frustration to show, to cut Taiga like it cuts him, deep down inside. But Taiga is stronger than that (has always been stronger than Tatsuya) and he laughs it off and tells Tatsuya to take some Midol, and hey can we go one more round? And it's difficult to push away from that, so he rolls his eyes, remarks that he doesn't need any Midol, but Taiga can buy him a few burgers after he wipes the court with him.

But it becomes harder and harder to interact, and when he moves on to middle school, he is almost able to breathe again. He no longer has the time to play with Taiga, and he joins his middle school team and he is by and large the best player. It's a dizzying feeling to be looked upon as great by himself when for so long it has been _Tatsuya and Taiga_.

Here, he can be alone and show everyone what he can do, what his type of basketball looks like without Taiga. 

Here, he can grow and not let his jealousy fester.

*

When he next meets Taiga, it is on the street courts. He has recently begun to play with a group of guys for the rights to the court, and as long as he plays, they do not lose.

All of that changes when Taiga appears.

He had forgotten it: the exhilaration of seeing Taiga on the court, of playing opposite of him. Taiga has gotten better, so much better, and that makes Tatsuya play harder. Taiga is a power offense player, the opposite of Tatsuya, and it is easy to steal the ball and make a break for it.

Taiga stays on him the entire game, forcing him to weave and spin and pass. When the last basket is made in favor of the opposing team, sweat is rolling down Tatsuya's face and his breathing is labored. Taiga doesn't appear much better off.

"Man," one of his teammates says. "You guys are fucking amazing."

He tries to ignore the twist in his chest at these words; it's been so long since he's heard them (Tatsuya and Taiga are in the past, he reminds himself; the future is Tatsuya himself). Taiga is grinning at him through his exhaustion and Tatsuya forces a smile back. 

It becomes a weekly occurrence, these games against Taiga, and as the win-loss ratio steadily climbs, so does the resentment. His teammates (insomuch as he can truly call them that) joke around, slapping him on the back and playfully suggesting switching the two of them for a game or two.

When he is at home, lying on his bed, he thinks that things can never be how they were. There are too many dark emotions twisted up inside of him to truly be around Taiga, even though a part of him wants to cling to Taiga, to be the brother that Taiga believes him to be. But he cannot, not anymore. Not when the difference between them becomes greater and greater each time they play.

Not when Tatsuya cannot look at Taiga without helpless anger.

Because when it comes down to it, Tatsuya hates Taiga, just a little, just enough.


End file.
